5 Tips for Adjusting to Life in a Foreign Country

An international move is a BIG FREAKING DEAL.

There are countless moving parts—the research beforehand, getting necessary paperwork completed, booking flights, securing housing, purging/storing your stuff, and if you’ve got a pet going with you, figuring out what it takes to make that happen.

And that’s all before you even board the plane.

I don’t even want to think about how much more work it’d be with an entire family or school-aged kids.

I thought that once I touched down in Puerto Vallarta and found a place to live, it’d be smooth-ish sailing. HA! There was no way I could have possibly predicted the huge emotional toll moving would take on me. I hope this crash course in adapting to life abroad will make your transition a little easier than mine!

Jax’s Tips for Adjusting to Life in a Foreign Country

1. Go with the flow.

One of the main reasons I moved to Mexico is because I wanted a slower pace of life, something I briefly touched on in my last post. I have no choice but to slow down in Puerto Vallarta. A task that takes 20 minutes in the States can take half a day here. If the dueña of the lavandería tells me my clothes will be ready at 6, I know not to show up until 6:30, 7, or even the next morning.

People who know me well know I HATE surprises. I like my plans to have plans, and I want to know exactly what I can expect from every situation. But we all know life doesn’t work like that…especially here. My first act of surrender and going with the flow was arriving in town with only two weeks booked at an Airbnb. Thanks to embracing flexibility, I ended up with an affordable apartment in a great location that allows me to have the culturally immersive experience I wanted.

I’ve learned two huge lessons by going with the flow:

1. Serendipitous things happen when you let yourself be present and allow room in your life for spontaneity.
2. When you try to force stuff not meant for you, you’ll meet resistance for a good reason; the Universe is steering you on to bigger and better things.

2. Reframe challenges as opportunities to level up.

Y’all, I cannot tell you how many “little inconveniences” I’ve experienced in my first few months here. No hot water in my shower. The closest ATM being a 15-minute walk each way. The spigot being located on the side of the outdoor sink that doesn’t have a drain. Coming home to no electricity.

While these things are frustrating, I choose to see each one as a learning opportunity. How I respond to these situations not only teaches me about myself but allows me to put my resourcefulness and problem-solving skills to the test. When I arrive at a solution, I walk away with pride and a sense of capability.

Look for silver linings, people.

3. Immerse yourself in the local culture as much as possible.

This one depends on what your goal is in moving—one of the reasons I ended up in Vallarta is that I wanted to improve my Spanish and dancing skills. I quickly realized always hanging out with other expats wasn’t going to make that happen.

As I mentioned in my last post, I lucked out with an apartment in a local neighborhood where I’m one of the lone foreigners. When I’m walking around, I make a point to wave, smile, and say “¡Hola, buenos días!” to everyone I see. I stop and chat with the owner of the corner tiendita. I take the bus. When I ride in an Uber or Didi, I try to strike up conversations about the best place to get pozole or birría, or my favorite bachata singer. I’ve even started taking belly dance classes taught strictly in Spanish, and have made friends with my classmates who are all Mexican (a couple speak English, but the majority do not).

I found that once I burst my expat bubble and pushed myself even further out of my comfort zone, life really started to blossom.

4. Allow yourself to make mistakes.

In addition to being a wee bit of a control freak, I’m a perfectionist. I hate making mistakes. It’s why it’s taken me so long to feel comfortable enough to speak with my neighbors. But I’ve learned that even if you make mistakes or think you sound stupid, people appreciate you making an effort. I’m working on giving myself grace and remembering that taking just one baby step forward is better than not trying at all.

5. Engage in activities that spark joy for you.

I know Marie Kondo is taking a break right now, so I’m going to step in.

Seek out activities, places, and people that make you feel happy in your new locale. In the United States, I’d meet up with friends for writing sessions at cafes and coffee shops. I took dance classes and went to cultural or artsy events.

When I first moved to Vallarta, I did none of those things. I hid in my apartment, visited the same restaurants over and over again, and hung out with expats, trying to get acclimated to my new home. Day by day, I’ve grown comfortable enough to seek out activities that make my spirit sing. As mentioned above, not only have they brought me joy, but they’ve brought like-minded local friends with whom I have interests in common. I’m thriving here in a way I couldn’t in the U.S.

And ONE BONUS TIP: Give it time.

I still have to remind myself I’m a newbie. That means making mistakes, sounding dumb, and missing cultural cues. You can’t expect to move to a country you’ve never lived in before and have everything fall into place on day one.

Oprah and Beyonce weren’t built in a day, and you won’t be either.

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So there you have it, Jax’s down-and-dirty guide on adapting to life in a foreign country. Have you made an international move? What was your adjustment period like? Do you have any tips to share? Leave ’em in the comments. 😎