Time for a Prednisone Party

This post is about how I’m handling life as a creative while taking Prednisone, a nasty little bitch of a steroid that suppresses your body’s immune response and helps with inflammation.

It’s tough having a chronic, invisible illness.

On the outside, I look like I’m in my early twenties–thanks for the good genes, Ma–but my body feels and acts like I’m sixty-five. I take handfuls of pills daily to have some semblance of a thirty-five-year-old’s normalcy.

One of the issues I deal with on the daily is lupus, but I only received the honor of the official diagnosis a few months ago. My early diagnoses were things like “Mixed Connective Tissue Disease” and “Undifferentiated Connective Disease”–phrases amounting to, “There’s definitely something wrong with your immune system, but we don’t know what the hell it is.” When my most recent rheumatologist conducted labwork and slapped me with the L-word, lupus, I was in denial. I’d never had a butterfly rash on my face, fevers, or kidney issues…just joint pain and random muscle aches that made me feel like a fossil.

It wasn’t until I was sitting in the gynecologist’s office one day, updating my never-ending list of medications with a nurse when she turned to me and asked, “Do you have Lupus?” that I was caught off-guard. I told her that’s what the doctor said but I didn’t believe it. She told me she had Lupus and had the same reaction because everything else was fine, she just “felt like an old person.” And that’s when I accepted my Big L.

Another issue I’m currently dealing with–God, I wish it were just the two–is Lichen Planus, the main sponsor of this post. It’s a chronic, inflammatory autoimmune skin issue that presents itself in a purplish rash that covers my body from neck to ankles. It’s not dangerous, but it itches like a mother and delivers a hell of a blow to your self-esteem since it takes three to five years for the hyperpigmentation to fade away. It’s so damn annoying but harmless–the type of thing you wouldn’t feel bad about wishing on your worst enemy to delight in their misery.

I had my first flare-up at twenty-one when I discovered a patch of rash while losing my virginity…that’s a hell of a reason to remember your first time. The flare-up lasted about two years then went dormant until it came back a whopping twelve years later, in, you guessed it, Satan’s Favorite Year, 2020, mostly due to being stressed out by the COVID-19 pandemic. And I’m still battling this flare just as we’re about to flip the calendars to 2022.

Enter Prednisone.

It’s currently the only thing that’s (just barely) keeping my Lichen Planus under control but the side effects are BEASTLY. While taking it, I’ve experienced the following in no limited supply:

• Moon face
• Insatiable appetite (If I can go without thinking about food for two hours it’s a miracle. I once stopped for dinner ON THE WAY TO GET MORE DINNER.)
• Weight gain
• Painful pooping (I swear I’m pooping out cubes like a wombat.)
• Swelling of my entire lower half (including the soles of my feet)
• Easy bruising
• Restless legs
• Toes cramping and locking
• Insomnia
• When I can sleep, waking up to pee every two hours throughout the night
• Occasional ‘roid rage

And the two that kind of make up for all the rest (at least for the first two to three weeks): PRODUCTIVITY and CLARITY.

When I first start a taper of Prednisone, I feel like a superpowered, turbo-charged human who can barrel through a fifteen-item to-do list on three hours of sleep, fueled by two whole red velvet cakes. This isn’t cute I’m-cleaning-the-whole-apartment-and-oh-did-you-want-me-to-study-Feng-Shui-and-rearrange-your-furniture insomnia. This is Tanisha from Bad Girls’ Club banging her pots and pans insomnia.

Your ass ain’t gonna get any sleep cause you’ll have major epiphanies about every tiny life detail and you need to write every single one down SO YOU FORGET NOTHING.

My brain feels like I’ve got 200 tabs open all at once and each needs my immediate attention. Even my lists have lists.

But for some weird reason, the new, temporary wiring in my brain gives me clarity. Ideas abound when it comes to fixing plot holes, revising my writing, and dreaming up new stories. Situations that seemed inescapable now have multiple exit strategies. By dumping the jumbled contents of my brain into lists, notes, and spreadsheets, it’s easier to see what I need to prioritize and gain clarity in my choices.

Since I’ve just moved into a new apartment and we’re going into a new year, I’m using this burst of medicinally-induced productivity to:

1. Set myself up for success in my new place by decluttering, physically and mentally.
2. Finish drafting my current manuscript by the end of the year.
3. Put effective strategies and systems in place to make life run smoother when I’m off the ‘roids.

After an absolutely dreadful past few months, Jax on the Trax–and my life–are coming back in a BIG way in 2022 and I’ll have that bitch Prednisone to thank.

Count on it.